OH my goodness....what a joy it is raising these crazy kids.
Mother's Day this year was beautiful. I was able to spend my day with my family, going to church, eating lunch together and swimming and playing for the remainder of the day. Just another simple day... but one I treasure. So I thank God for today's blessing in a happy, healthy family.
There are so many days, however, that I think I want a "do over" or just want to erase from the memory bank. Because my self sufficiency says that I am not good enough and don't do enough for these babies. My ugliness and brokenness says that I have to perform perfectly for validation that I have worth, and I am valuable for them. I once thought I have to show them "super spiritual" to show them a big Faith and boldness in Jesus...which is so far from the truth!
I had it so completely backwards. If I am focused on being "super mom" (meeting the demands and unattainable perfection that I talk myself into) how in the world are they going to see my "super GOD"....
I have confused my hats. I don't wear the hat of Savior, I wear the hat of Momma. So my role is clearly defined for me. But if I am listening to the wrong voice, I quickly become confused in my "calling"....
So I have realized a few things as I reflect over my days as "momma"...
God has not called me to be a perfect momma, or a flawless woman without all my messy brokenness, (The world has)...God has not called me to play a role for the purpose of popularity among my peers....(The world has)....God has not called me to over-extend my schedule and live a rushed lifestyle.....(The world has)....Because the ultimate goal in motherhood should be for Momma to point her children to Jesus. And the only way to do that, is through living real, authentic life for them to experience through my surrendering of my self sufficiency to Him.
So today, I thank God for making me who I am in HIM first and foremost, and I also thank Him for making me "Momma" because in my 5 children I see His grace poured out all over my life.