It has been a little over a month since I accepted my current position as the music teacher at the boys' school, CASA. I have to admit, upon accepting this part-time job, I was a little hesitant about giving up my free time during the day. Until of course I searched my heart and realized that the fear of losing my free time was really a selfishness within my heart that I didn't want to admit. There was a missing piece within me that I wrestled with (was I not content where God had me, or was God trying to thwart me out of a selfishness) What I was wrestling with wasn't the fear of losing my free time, but the longing to do something that would impact others (big or small) for Him. I realized that in the years past, my teaching position at Oak Mountain gave me several things 1. a pay check 2. great insurance 3. interaction with other adults 4. a chance to teach children ...it also gave me the opportunity to share God's word and teachings and mostly His unfading love with the kids I taught (just had to do it nonchalantly and not so obviously) When I resigned from my "job" teaching 4th graders, I was excited to have lots of extra time to just do whatever I desired, but after a few months, I realized that sending all five kids to school and staying home with my "desires" proved to be a very selfish place for me. This is not to say all women who stay home are selfish....I am saying that I WAS FEELING SELFISH.... I really didn't feel myself thriving in His spirit like I had in the past. As I searched my heart and reflected with God as to why I felt so empty, for lack of a better word, I really saw myself bored and unsatisfied just being at home. When the boys were babies and Jenna was 2, my days were crazy full and I never felt selfish at all. I spent my entire day, morning , noon and night in a very unselfish place...SERVING my children 24-7. Not to say that I don't serve them now, it is just a different level of serving. They are so much more independent, and I LOVE IT!
I prayed that God would reveal an opportunity for me where I could work, without being stressed to the max, earn some extra money to help lessen a little bit of the financial burdens of our family, but also to give me a place/platform to share Him with others, HE FOUND THE PERFECT PLACE FOR ME!
I am so very grateful for the place I have currently landed....CASA allows me to teach children His word and share His love 4 days a week for a few hours a day. I have been able to use our scripture song CD to teach our family verses to my new CASA family of children...It is so rewarding and humbling to hear these little preschoolers see me and start singing "Exodus 14:14 God will fight for you , be still and know it's true"... I don't have mounds of stress at all. I don't feel like a lunatic spiraling out of control in a constant frenzy at all. I have a group of women I work with daily that are beautiful reflections of God's love and grace, and encouragement. I still have the early mornings to leisurely spend time with all my children, send the off to school and be home a couple of hours before they arrive. I can still have special snacks awaiting them occasionally, do carpool pick up for gymnastics, run errands with the boys after CASA, prep dinner, workout if needed..Manage the home chores and tasks without feeling completely overwhelmed. I think God has answered my prayer/plea and not only did He answer it, HE EXCEEDED my expectations.
Ephesians 3:19-21 "And to know His love to the measure of all the fullness of God, and to Him who is able to do, immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to His power at work in us, to Him the glory in the church, and in Christ Jesus through all generations, Forever and ever AMEN!"