I just want all of you guys to know that your prayers for our family and his healing are being heard by our Father. When we go to the Father in prayer, it is for a purpose. Generally we are pleading and begging for something we feel is out of our reach and unable to be attained by our efforts. Whether it is asking God for healing of the sick or wounded, direction in what choice to make in life at a crossroads, strength to endure the hard stuff life throws at us..even the plea to "fix" our children or spouse...whatever the prayer is, generally we are asking for God to perform for us. So here is what God has taught me through my prayer life over the course of Rob's injury.
I have learned to pray continually, in thanksgiving, praise Him for ALL of it. Bring Him EVERYTHING we are struggling with. God doesn't just want us to repeat the same verse in ritualistic tone to Him. He doesn't want us knocking down the golden gates in prayer when we need Him to desperately fix a situation. He wants ALL of us, ALL the time. I have learned to counts gifts that aren't bought, but gifts of gratitude for WHO He is in my life.
TO KNOW HIM MORE....whether He performs or not....the proof is already there! HIS word is full of proof that HE IS IN CONTROL. What makes it all so hard, is the submission to HIS WILL not our own. But there is also a great peace in submitting to Him. Letting go of the control factor invites us to live fully for Him and quench our thirst for what it is we truly want...complete unconditional love, security and purpose.
The inconvenience of Rob's injury showed me the selfishness in my own spirit. Not that I didn't love to take care of him, because I did, not to mention it was heart wrenching to see him in so much pain, but after a week or so, I prayed "Lord heal him, I need some help around here....5 kids are SO demanding and I am ready to be able to do something for my "self" during the day." It was only when I would pray for the Spirit to fill me, that I could die to my "self" and serve him with compassion and love and not bitterness.. Rob was always so appreciative for everything I did for him. Our marriage became stronger through another "life trial" and we enjoyed being together day and night (because without me, he couldn't go the bathroom:-))))
Watching Rob endure this pain, opened my eyes again to the suffering of Christ even more. I saw a "really good guy" who was trying to do "a really good deed" get seriously injured resulting in "puncture wounds to his feet"....In my mind I though, how pitiful is this situation. Rob is trying to do something good and ends up really hurt Sounds a little familiar doesn't it....A PERFECT MAN, TRYING TO SAVE OUR SOULS, WITH NAILS THROUGH HIS FEET.....
My prayer life has completely changed through all of this...again! I find myself in constant prayer (speaking to Him) throughout my day. .I am shamed that my prayer life hasn't been more about getting to know Him, really understanding more of who He is. I realize trying to understand God would be about as effective as a gnat drinking the Atlantic Ocean...just not even reasonable. But knowing His word and learning the character of God, builds in me a desire to Know Him more....and that is truly our purpose here...to KNOW HIM, really truly KNOW HIM.
Healing will come...sometimes it is spiritual healing and sometimes it is physical healing. Our purpose in life is to know Him, truly know Him. When we go through a tough season in life, handling the misfortunes we feel are brought to us, we grow closer to Him. It seems obvious that we depend on Him to pull us out of our worst state of being, but I have learned that many gifts are presented during those "worst times"....So I will trust Him through it all.
I have the boys' miraculous story to serve as a constant reminder of my Faith in the Almighty God and His plan for my life. The God who figured out how all the planets could orbit the Sun at the same time and not crash into each other would be the same God that chose our family for miracle twin boys, and even the same God that chose very carefully the injury to my precious, beloved, husband's feet.... that taught me, yet another lesson in "dying to self".... Lord empty me of me and fill me with You!