Well, I am going to try and give a condensed version of my current health status.
Monday morning I am scheduled for an orthopedist visit to diagnose my current 'running injury'. I have been battling some pelvic discomfort for a while now, it comes and goes. I have always used 'pain' as my trigger for needing "new shoes", or just a "day off". My body responds well to new shoes and or a day off here and there. If I run too hard or too fast/long, I end up on a heating pad and popping Advil....something just isn't right. I ran 8 miles Tuesday afternoon like I normally do, but this time I ended with quite a bit of discomfort. Wednesday morning I woke up and was unable to walk. I have researched my symptoms and history of symptoms, and feel certain that I have a pelvic stress fracture. Just for those of you who have no idea about running marathons and or training at the current level I am training at, it takes a toll on your body. Pelvic stress fractures are common in elite women athletes. Too much stress on the pelvis (ummmm four pregnancies in five years), poor nutrition (lack of vitamin D and fat), continuous repetitive pounding (treadmill, uneven pavement)....Bad news, is that it can take up to a year to fully recover and sometimes requires surgery (pins and plates..YUCK)
So where am I right now on feelings about this new road God has currently put me on....
*He knows my heart
*He knows the sacrifices I have made training for Boston
*He knows all about it....
I may be struck down, but I am not destroyed..."The one who lives in me, is greater than the one who lives in the world" 1John 4:4....Satan wants me to be full of anger and bitterness. He wants nothing more than to destroy the happiness God wants for me. This would be a great opportunity for Satan to sneak attack my spirit, but I refuse to allow that to happen. The prayer that people have lifted up for me is surrounding me. I can totally feel it. I sense the Holy Spirit in so many ways during my day.
Am I disappointed? Well of course. But I have a healthy perspective in life.
I had a beautiful opportunity to share my feelings with my girls yesterday. They began asking me all about it. I tried to explain to them that disappointments in life will come (some are mild and some hurt really bad) but at the days end, things will fail us....stuff, status, experiences, friends, family and even marathons!! Just think of anything that made you shrill with excitement...it faded right? Maybe not right away, but eventually the luster was lost. I am constantly preaching to our girls that no matter what happens in their day, happiness and joy come from our King, not from any 'thing' else this world offers....Many folks don't agree with that, but test out anything or anyone that was certain to bring you ever lasting joy and fulfillment, pure happiness forever, and I bet you ended up 'disappointed'....
I had the perfect opportunity to model this for my girls. I began to cry and become upset at the thought of not running in my race (that I have worked so, so very hard for) and then it totally dawned on me, the lesson I continue to want to teach my children is right before me in my own life. I said, "Girls, this is a great example of how an earthly disappointment should not steal the JOY that God wants me to have.
I will not waste this trial. My best friend, Aimee, told me once, "Never waste your trial..there is a reason for it!"
God's promises are eternal and walking through life with Him makes the disappointments of life easier to handle.
Of course I still want to run Boston, but not at the expense of ruining my health long term. Boston is such a dream of mine, it is exciting to think of and thrilling to dream of, but it is NOT MY JOY....
I will update Monday when I know more. But for now, it looks like Boston is not happening, and I am praying that I don't have to have surgery. I would be so appreciative of any prayers of healing you guys would lift up for me.
And if I can't run for 6 months to a year, be on the look out for me to join the USA Olympic swim team:-)