John David Pate-3years old

James Daniel Pate-3years old

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A text message from GOD!

Yes, I need a text message from God. I have been praying about the decision to work or stay home next year. For several months now, I have been grappling with the idea of going back to work in August. Yes, I actually LIKE my job. I enjoy the time away from the kids and house chores (NO I am NOT a bad mother for saying it!), I work with amazing ladies that bring joy to my life, keep me laughing and give great companionship and advice when I need it. I enjoy teaching children and watching them succeed and prosper academically and socially all because I worked hard to "help them achieve"! I enjoy feeling like I have a tangible task ahead of me and challenges along the way to conquer in a day. I have phenomenal parents I bond with each year. So, yes, my job is a great one and I have been incredibly blessed to have it for 7 years. HOWEVER, for the first time in my life I am questioning whether me working my "job" would be the best choice for my family. It seems easy to say, STAY HOME...but many factors are involved in me staying home. This is a hot topic in our society..Moms who stay home look down upon those who work, and those who work think moms who stay home are crazy for not working! I have many friends, those who work and those who don't, and guess what...they all complain and are stressed out in equal amounts. I don't see the moms I work with any happier or more miserable than those of my friends who stay home. Each side has their own set of problems and stressors! So I am not searching for advice in what is the best decision for me, but what is the best decision for my family. I know God will give me a peace in what I should do. I earnestly feel that seeking HIM in this matter is more important than seeking the approval or advice of others.

I remember the verse Jeremiah 29:13 from my hospital days. My sweet husband sent it to me for my scripture wall. It says: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"

It is so true...seeking HIM with all your heart and finding HIM. Have you ever felt distant from God? We all have moments of drift. I think so many times we have concerns or problems within our lives that we assume can be handled from our own expertise. During our struggle we sense that God is not near, but far away. But then I think when we are left empty from trying to handle life in our own ways, that is when we go searching for God. My journey with the boys was a difficult one, the hardest thing I have ever had to come to terms with in my life. It wasn't until I finally hit my knees and sought HIM did I feel peace during my pregnancy. At times, I felt a spiritual peace that I know only comes from being in the presence of God. I will never forget the feelings of the shear terror and pure elation that wrapped so tightly around my heart during that time in my life.

If it happens to be that I go back to work, our family will be fine and we will survive best we can. If it happens to be that I have to re-direct my lifestyle to become a stay at home mom (temporarily), we will survive best we can. I know in my heart, that whatever decision I do make, will be made with careful thought and deep prayer.

I still stand in awe each day that I look at these precious baby boys and remember how incredibly fragile they were just 4 months ago. I savor each day with them. I take it all in, beacuse I know from previous experience, when the time is is gone!


Tricia said...

So glad you had a great time away! I am definitely looking forward to mine in June!

I will pray for God to clearly reveal to you His will for you at this season of your life... I know you will follow Him when He shows it to you...

Thanks for your prayers for me... I continue to need them... I am dealing with female issues and it is getting old and is beginning to wear on me... but I know God is faithful and He will deliver me!


Michael said...

For me, staying home with my children has been a lifelong desire. For now, I am able to be at home. Only the Lord knows how long this will continue be possible, especially with the economy the way it is. But it is the honest truth, that I have many days where I longed for my teaching job. I totally understand the want to be with your peer teachers, the kids, and have a sense of accomplishment outside of mothering and housekeeping. I also miss MY aspirations. But on the other side I don't even like to think of someone else getting my sweet Emmaline every day instead of me. I want to see every cute thing, feed her "good" food, teach her at home, and discipline her the way I see fit...basically I want to be in control.

My point is, I hear ya girl. I will pray for you to receive a clear message from God letting you know what is best for you to do. If you stay home it will truly be a loss (temporarily) to the educational system but you won't regret the time with your family. And if you go back to work, you will continue to change lives and your children will look at you with respect and gratitude when they realize the demands of a large family and a successful woman.

In faith,
Lauren Raciborski

roy/elisabeth dean said...

Only you, Rob and God know what is best for your children. I was a SAHM with Katy and Jess and worked from the time Molly was 3 weeks old. All 3 of my girls turned out fine! And working hasn't seemed to have any adverse effects on your girls either! You and Rob are great will be fine whatever you decide!
Here's hoping you get the text message you want!

♥Trina♥ said...

One thing I always said about becoming a teacher was that IF God's plan for me included children was that I would want to be a SAHM until they went to school, and then I'd get back into the classroom. Since John and I chose not to have children of our own, and it wasn't God's plan for us to have an "oops" baby, I didn't have to make that decision. (By "oops" baby, PLEASE know that I mean one John and I didn't plan but one that God wanted us to have!)

There are so many benefits to BOTH options! No matter what your text from God says, there will be things you would miss. Honestly, I'd hate to be in your shoes!! It would be SO hard to leave those sweet boys every day! On the other hand, it would be so sweet to see their happy smiles when you got home every day.